Before And After Cover Letter Example

As we mentioned earlier, one big problem a lot of job applicants have is they often bury their “good stuff” down toward the end of their resumés and cover letters. Here’s an example of what I’m referring to.

Dear Manager,

As you know, it is not hard to hire a Software Developer – it is hard to hire a good one. You don’t want just a person with several years of C++, Java or Internet development. Most importantly you need a Software Developer who can:

- Respect your clients because they are paying his salary after all

- Use his problem solving, analytical and communication skills to increase customer satisfaction

- Help other team members with their problems improving the quality of product
Save your time by ability to work independently;

- Save your company money being a self-motivated quick learner and training himself new cutting edge development tools

- Take responsibility by realizing the price of his mistakes as well as his achievements for the company
Show initiative and have new ideas increasing your company profits.

Where to find him? Fortunately, I can offer you a solution for this problem. As you can see from my attached resumé, I have an extensive experience in all stages of software life cycle where I used all these qualities along with technical skills such as C++, Java, HTML, SQL and other.

More than that: I handled multiple projects in a wide range of areas such as bank technologies, business, science, statistics and computer training, so I can bring my wealth of knowledge into your business.

Why I am interested in your company? As a new homeowner (only a year old!) I have learned a lot about Real Estate and Mortgages and I was fascinated with this subject. Working with my mortgage broker I had a chance to see your system at work and was really impressed with it. Your open architecture B2B Network sounds very appealing to me because I am interested in Internet technology very much. Frankly, it would be very exciting to be a part of your dynamic growing company, reach my full potential and contribute my knowledge and expertise to your success. I would like to discuss your goals and objectives and how I can help you with them. Please call me at (NNN) NNN-NNNN to arrange the interview. I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

While not a bad cover letter, it just needs a little something extra to set it apart from other applicants.

As you can see above, the writer of the letter mentions they are a customer of the business and they had some good ideas for marketing. This is the ‘gem’ we wanted to bring to the top.

Here’s what we suggested they do instead:

I think I have some ideas that can help your software deliver a steady stream of “ready, willing and able to buy” customers to your clients’ businesses…
and I should know as I am one of your clients.

Dear Sir,

I have learned a lot about real estate mortgages having worked closely with my mortgage broker. In fact I had the chance to see your system at work and was very impressed with it… more than that – I am a home owner because of it.

Your Open Architecture B2B Network sounds very appealing to me as I have ideas and the skills that could skyrocket your strategy and help your brokers turn more inquiries into sales. If you are looking for a programmer with good ideas that shares your dreams and is a FAN of your product then I would love to meet with you to see how I can fit in.

My resumé lists the skills I can bring to your company. I would love a chance to talk to you to show you my ideas and the other things my resumé doesn’t cover. I am so excited by what you have done so far and hope we can meet soon.

Yours truly,

Hopefully, this applicant will now get the interview because the employer would be intrigued to hear their suggestions on how to improve the business.

If you’re thinking that this is too hard to do yourself, think back to how many times you’ve had thoughts like “this business really needs to ….”, or “this business would be perfect if only they would ….” about companies you’ve just done business with.

by Murray Gray